So this must be it, ‘welcome to the new year’. I’m going to start updating this blog more often, as of now. I need somewhere to vent and get my mind clear and this seems like the perfect opportunity to do these things. Perfect strangers listening to me cry about first world issues (girl-friend, possessions, education, etc.) I am talking about real boring shit here, but we all know how it goes.

Well, a little more about myself I guess, I have a girlfriend who I am completely in love with, I can’t/won’t trust her for some reason; I am completely paranoid that she is fucking me over… I guess it’s force of habit. One of my ex-girlfriends in particular was a cheat, she was my first love and I guess i expect all love to end in tears and broken vehicles and depression. My only goal, is to make my life completely beautiful. To live in a distant land, to put my name on this Earth and fully realise my potential. I hate writing things like this because i believe it to be arrogant, everybody dreams of being an important part of this world, this universe. The truth is, it isn’t that easy. Actually, it’s real hard. I use this knowledge as an excuse to not bother… I am an uneducated white British man, I don’t try hard and life doesn’t throw me any favours because of this. This is why i work a shitty job that pays me no money…..

Complete jibberish, Nonsensical scribblings

Fuck it

Note to self: Eugh, New years eve right? Get over yourself and make it happen. Also, don’t type blogs whilst drunk.. Nothing witty happens to me whilst I’m drunk…… Good night

Flying the flag for the UK- No need for gay electronic beat-downs when you are sick at writing songs

Happy days

I laugh every time I see this

you aren’t silly fools,

you’re fucking morons,

people don’t see things the way you do,

and you should have learnt from my mistakes

far too proud to admit you’ve gone wrong,

you know,

you have lost you’re way,

just stop worrying so hard,

and accept there is some things,

that you can’t control

that you can’t change.

and for god’s sake,

crack a smile when you’re sober

sorry

it’s just how i feel

My naive eyes,
Take on blistering size.
Whilst daggers slide down my throat,
and make fools of us all.

“Well,
We all do what we have to do (Do what we have to do)
And,
All I hope is to learn from our past mistakes (Past mistakes)”

So as our hearts swell,
The truth comes trickling out,
Delicately explain our pasts,
And how it all goes down.

“Well,
We all do what we have to do (Do what we have to do)
And,
All I hope is to learn from our past mistakes (Past mistakes)”

Suddenly,
Our heavy hearts are lifted from guilt and suspicion,
And my friend you know,
That i am here for you now

Don’t waste this opportunity
Don’t waste this opportunity, My Friend

Well we both know, we’re happier right now
Well we both know, the acts weren’t callous
Well we both know, we’re happier right now
Well we both know, that i’ve forgiven you now
And I always will
Your honesty pays dividents in the end

Yesterday I woke up and started to move my possesions from their boxes to my bedroom at my parents house. People who know me, will probably think that I am a retard for not unpacking my belongings for the last 6 or so months that I have lived here, in reality, I was just sure that i wouldn’t be here too long.
Anyways, I started the process of moving my things from boxes where they wouldn’t get used or seen, to drawers,cupboards and shelves where they wouldn’t get used either.

Monotonous.

Although, amongst the cables that have no conceivable use to me, the old video-games that won’t be played again, and the books that i have barely opened, I found a tiny pebble. It is grey, unassuming and insignificant. This stone pebble is probably from a beach I can’t remember and a point in time that I can’t fully recall happening. Where it is from, i guess is unimportant.
I can’t bring myself to throw it away.
I’m sure there isn’t any actual logic to me keeping it still, as whatever memory it is a keepsake from has been completely lost somewhere across the last 2 or maybe even 3 years. I’m going to keep it somewhere safe for a while. It obviously meant a lot to me for some reason. A reason that i probably swore i wouldn’t forget. I must have decided at some point, that it meant something to me, and even if now i can’t remember why, I hope that some day i will remember.

Besides, by keeping it I have saved it from being just a rock pebble, something that normally would be trodden on and ignored or kicked about by a child. I have given it a value that can’t be taken away or seen by anyone else but me.

Then again… Maybe it is just a stone, a rock, a pebble without any relevance to anything in my life. I just wish I could remember



I’m sure everyone has a pebble like mine in their life. Hold on to it, and the memories and sentiment you attach to it.